February 12, 2018
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Here it is, word fans, another attempt to arrange all the proper parts of speech in their correct order, Week 339, brought to you in part by the You’ve Got To Give Him Credit For At Least Trying Association.
It seems to me that I’m (literally) biting my tongue more lately. Or the inside of my cheek. Once that’s been done, of course, you keep returning to that very spot for more punishment.
“Arrgh,” I exclaimed the other day. “I just bit my tongue again, in the same place as yesterday.”
My wife looked over from her book. “Yeah, that’s the way it usually goes,” she said. “Seems like you just can’t stay away from it.”
“Well, what’s causing this?” I asked, exasperation level rising. “Have I always been this way? I don’t remember doing this type of thing twenty or thirty years ago.”
“Yeah, you were doing it,” she assured me. “It’s just that we were in child-rearing mode in those days and that tends to distract you from other things.”
I considered this. She’s usually right about these things. “That might explain why I used to call our daughter by our dog’s name and vice versa.”
“Exactamundo,” she agreed. “And you didn’t do it THAT often. It’s usually done at a time when you need to communicate something important quickly and the words get a little mumbled-jumbled around.”
“So, what does that have to do with biting my tongue or cheek?” I inquired.
“Well, just think,” she suggested. (I sometimes have trouble doing that.) “It usually happens when you’re eating and you want to say something important before you forget it, or you want to make a point in an argument.”
“I never argue,” I protested. “I DISCUSS, but I don’t think I argue.”
She raised one eyebrow. “I’d like to see you argue—or discuss- that point in speech court.”
“Now you’re messin’ with me,” I said. “There’s no such thing as ‘speech court.’ Is there?”
“To quote the great Fats Waller,” she said, “one never knows, do one?”
“Well, why do I keep biting the same place? You’d think my jaws would learn to stay away from that part of my mouth. I think my molars have something against me.”
She eyed me speculatively, a doctor considering how to reply to a slightly obtuse patient. “Well, the sore spot sort of sticks out and it’s standing out there in the middle of the road when your molars come by. Most times it doesen’t matter, but sometimes the molar veers off course and nails it.”
“Kind of like when you had a loose tooth when you were a kid and you just couldn’t stop yourself from checking it with your tongue every ten minutes,” I said, starting to see the light.
“Yeah, I suppose, but your tongue has a free will,” she replied. “Your molars are just careening all over the place.”
“So, what do I do about it?”
“Well, remember what I said about raising kids? Maybe we should adopt a few. That won’t make you stop biting your cheek, but it might make you obsess less about it.”
I considered my options. “More kids? Bite your tongue.”
Lots of ‘bites’ on our trivia questions last week…
Terry was first ‘in the door’ again, this time with the answer to the Super Bowl question: The Jacksonville Jaguars. Mike had it correct, too, a bit later. Dennis said the Saints had never been to the Super Bowl. Well, they actually had, losing to the Colts in 2010.
Mike grabbed a trifecta: The Number 1 pizza delivery day is Halloween, Ebonite is the material often used in clarinet mouthpieces (and even the entire instrument, in some cases) and also some bowling balls. And he even knew all about ‘Force 8’ winds: those are gale force winds, the kind of warning sailors don’t take lightly.
Re: the mouthpiece question; Joe (accomplished musician) said they just used to call it bakelite. Bakelite is a legendary synthetic, used for everything from old time radio cabinets to fancy vases to you-name-it.
Well, I’m going to give you the answer to that long-running music question: the song is “I Hear You Knockin,’ (But you can’t come in etc) recorded by artists as diverse as Gale Storm, Fats Domino and Dave Edmunds.
Okay, time to start all over, my stockpile of questions having been exhausted by all your exhaustive research.
This ‘king of calypso’ in the ‘50s and ‘60s became a prominent political activist. Who was he?
What car company had the most push button transmissions of all time?
There are three Halls of Fame in the general vicinity of Cooperstown, NY. One is baseball, of course, one is soccer and one is …..?
This cleaning agent was once endorsed by someone who eventually became President. Who might that be?
This spot in the former ‘Village Mall’ shopping center was once home to Anthony’s Clothing Store. Name one other occupant of that building.
Hmmm, looks like I just ran out of time and questions. Enjoy the better weather and we’ll visit again next week.