October 9, 2017
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And now, pre-screened for your safety and comfort, it’s Week 323 of Words O’ Fun, a semi-fortnightly excursion through the back alleys and cul-de-sacs of the English Langwidge. (Yes, I know that word is misspelled; I just thought I’d write it the way it should be spelled, just this one time. Doesen’t it make more sense to spell it that way? Oh, never mind.)
Different subject: I need more excuses to turn away telemarketers. Usually I just mumble, “sorry, not interested” and hang up. Most of the time they are still rattling on as I end the call, obviously not interested in my “not interested.” So, since I think (somewhat) better when I sit down to write, I’ve prepared a list to help myself (and you, dear reader) when you get that next call, say, from a hotel chain offering you an Amazing Vacation Package. Here’s what you can say…
1. I gotta get off the phone. Russian hackers.
2. I can’t afford a vacation. First I gotta get a job.
3. That last hotel of yours I stayed in had nothing but Instant Oatmeal for the free guest breakfast.
4. Your valet parking guy ran up 227 miles on my car. Surely your parking lot isn’t THAT far away.
5. Your desk clerk looked just like the creepy foreign criminal on last week’s ‘Blue Bloods.’
6. I don’t like the font style of your outside sign. It looks drunk.
7. You’re just trying to get back all the furniture I took home.
8. I’m done with your hotel chain. Last time I was there I wrecked my back loading furniture into my car. You’re lucky I didn’t sue.
9. Orlando? What’s Orlando got that Wichita doesen’t have?
10. I don’t like the smell of your complementary hand lotion.
11. I don’t go to your place anymore, ever since you dropped the Tony Orlando Tribute Show.
12. Your toilet paper dispensers are too far away.
Okay, feel free to use any of those with your next ‘great getaway vacation’ caller. By the way, Number 12 is true. We recently stayed at a very nice national chain hotel where the TP was like five feet away from ‘Where It Was Needed.’
Do YOU have any great ‘robo-call interrupters?’ Tell us below.
Time to explore your input generated by last week’s effort…
Terry guessed ‘salt water taffy’ as the ‘weather-proof’ treat in GI’s food rations during WW2. Nope, sorry. Last week Kimberly guessed ‘military chocolate.’ She was on the right track. but I’m after a brand name here, but not Hershey.
Eldon got “Paul Anka’ as the guy who wrote the Tonight Show theme, as well as ’My Way’ for Sinatra. As Ed McMahon would have said, “you are right, sir.”
A bit later, Edith Ann checked in with a handful of answers, including Paul Anka, as well. She got ‘One Day At A Time’ as the ‘80s re-born series on Netflix, identified ‘phrenology’ as the discredited ‘science’ that predicted someone’s characteristics and behavior by the shape of their head, and also guessed ‘Hershey Tropical Bar’ as the GI sweet treat referred to above.
This would be a good place to suggest once again that our valued readers limit themselves to answering one question per week. Lately, we’ve had a couple of instances where one person answered nearly all of the week’s questions, which kind of makes the other people feel left out. So, please, answer one question (your choice) per person, per week. That way, we can ‘spread the fun around’ a little.
In other business, Roger from Hays gave me a (long) list of former GB business establishments. Thanks! I think I’ll use his source material as a question this week. To wit:
Name three historic GB barber shops other than the Victory.
Still active questions include the WW2 GI sweet treat (see above) and the one about the astronaut who landed on a farm and scared the locals until they found out who he was.
Okay, two others to make it an ‘even’ five:
One of the most famous Bogart films on the ‘40s had an actor who played a secret agent working for the ‘good guys.’ This guy did NOT look the part of a dashing secret agent. Who was the actor?
What smash pop hit of 1983 got a new lease on life during August of this year?
Wow, it’s 55 degrees as I wrap this up. Looks like fall, y’all.
Have a better-than-average week. Smile at someone. Make ‘em wonder what you’re up to.
Just another reminder: respond to any of this with an email to me at firstname.lastname@example.org.