April 17, 2017
Well, let’s see, if memory serves, this would be Week #300 of our continuing odyssey in adverb-tising. (I had to re-type that last word because the ‘helpful’ spellcheck wanted it to be ‘advertising,’ which is not what I had in mind.) Boy, you can’t even do a little play on words nowadays without some uppity computer trying to make you do things its way. Hah! I guess I showed that software who’s boss.
Today I was urged to take another of those seemingly endless ‘customer satisfaction surveys’ from a certain retail outlet. These things are everywhere; you can’t hardly buy a widget, gimcrack or geegaw these days without the clerk or salesperson asking you to “puh-leeze take our customer survey.” There is usually an incentive such as the chance to win a giftcard, or in some cases even crisp green Federal dollars redeemable at the place of your choice.
These surveys are usually pretty much alike. They ask about store appearance, service, product availability, price and suchlike. I wish they had space for a few more questions, just for fun. Herewith…
1. Did anyone ding your car door with theirs today in our parking lot?
2. How do you like our manager’s beard? Check ‘very much,’ ‘acceptable,’ or ‘it makes him look like a terrorist.’
3. Did you notice anyone shoplifting today? Will you consider trying it yourself?
4. Was any member of our staff texting instead of helping?
5. What do you think of our new policy permitting service dogs in our store? How about service cats? Ferrets?
6. What’s your opinion of our self-service kiosks?
7. Did you promptly comply when the automated voice told you THREE TIMES to “place the item in the bagging area?”
8. Did any staff member ask you for a date? Are you good looking?
9. Did you need binoculars to see the price on products on our bottom shelves?
10. Did you ding any of OUR car doors with yours today?
Anyone who would answer all of those DESERVES a giftcard.
Okay, let’s see how you did with the weekly brain busters…
Ryan got the ‘bugles and gongs’ question. Yes, this was used, often late at night, by attacking Chinese troops in the Korean War. It was very unnerving to the American troops until they got used to the weird racket. The Chinese also used another tactic, well ahead of any other military force. During winter battles they often wore white uniforms, which, of course, made them hard to spot against the snow.
Billy Willy was right on the money when he said the Sutherland’s location on Tenth Street was formerly a K-Mart. Dennis remembered the most recent incarnation of the building, as the home of Primus Sterilizer. Good work, both of you.
Terry remembered the big 1970 double hit with two distinct titles by a foreign group: ‘American Woman/No Sugar Tonight’ by Canada’s Guess Who. Julie had a couple other titles for us, but they were for single songs, even though part of their titles were in parentheses.
Terry also gave us the story of the ‘bullfight that never was,’ a broadcast on KVGB years ago by Dave Wilson, who was ordered to cover a bullfight in Lyons, which never happened. Since the sponsors had paid for it, he created one with the help of some other people. Now that’s talent!
It’s not the same thing, but it reminds me of a broadcast techniques many stations used in the ‘30s, including the station which employed a young Ronald Reagan, who called himself “Dutch Reagan” on the air. He would take ticker tape reports of away baseball games and make like he was actually watching the game. Listeners were perfectly happy with the slight deception.
Alright, that leave only the Penney’s Restaurant question still open. What was the name of the place?
Here are a few more upon which to cogitate:
Where was Gibson’s Discount center located? Think carefully.
This mid 50’s cartoon show was the first prime time cartoon show. It was hosted by a guy who became very famous four years later. Who was he?
This amazing fruit has an enzyme that’s even used to treat back pain. What is it?
Well, I’m gonna go to work on my latest customer satisfaction survey. And if you believe that…..
See you next week.